So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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