who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
