all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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