ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
