did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
