There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
