i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
My liver just had a heart attack.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
