I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize