If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
farters have to be the big spoon...
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
