How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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