So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Randomize
