Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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