if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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