I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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