Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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