they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize