You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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