I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize