omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
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