I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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