ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
