that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
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