isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
