Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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