but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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