I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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