first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
