if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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