just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
