Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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