Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
