no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
