after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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