I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize