i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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