Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
