Me too!
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
