MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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