so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
