i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
