discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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