I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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