I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
