I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Holy shit dude........stairs
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