can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
