Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
that may or may not have been my penis.
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