I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
