Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Everything about him screamed your future.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
