I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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