That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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