Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
