before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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