dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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