I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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