am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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