Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
