I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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