The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize