Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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